Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Why I feel Nauseated at Lunch Time

One of the consequences of being my mom's guardian and conservator is watching her eat.  When she was still living at her home I started skipping meals as I was worried I would upchuck watching her eat.  It isn't her fault.  She's shaky and it's just part of getting old, but it's a bit annoying at times.  Especially since she tends to pick the messiest meals.

I've gotten to the point that virtually all stomach, eating and drinking sounds drive me batty.  My husband even looks like he might burp and I'm giving him the stink-eye.  I realized my lack of forcing proper table manners in my kids so I'm making up for lost time.  I especially hate those horrible Aleeve commercials where they include the sound of actors swallowing Tylenol.  Really, is that necessary Aleeve?  I think we can figure out they've swallowed the pills without the sound!

Today's meal was at a certain "Mexican" restaurant.  She chose something that resembled an enchilada.  I usually get her a quesadilla since it's much easier for her to eat, but she was insistent.  Of course she couldn't even break it up so I tried to spork it to death.  I was mildly successful.  The scene, that followed, of melted cheese attached at various points made me excuse myself to the restroom for a short while.  I ended up spork-feeding my mother so she could at least eat something.  Clearly I won't be eating at that place for a long long time.

Now, since I do need to lose weight I really should hang around her more often, but I think I'll try running instead.  Or maybe starvation.




Monday, June 11, 2012

House for Sale

Well the title says it all, the house is finally on the market.  It took exhausting work the last few months, but we managed to paint all paintable surfaces, repair as much as we could and refinish the floors.  I found out I'm handy with a belt sander, which is something I never thought I have to say.  The last few weeks were probably the most frustrating, but we're done and now it's a waiting game.

There have been 4 showings since it went on the market 6 days ago and another one scheduled for tonight.  Unfortunately no one seems to like the kitchen and can't see past that.  It's dated I agree.  It makes me feel like all the work that I put into it was pointless.  Although the dozens of things that were wrong with it just a few months ago haven't been mentioned so I guess we did a good enough job.  Here's hoping that one of these potential buyers see some potential and make a bid.  I'm actually surprised the kitchen is an issue.  Yes it does need work, but it's 4 times the size of my kitchen.  I thought the sheer size of it would allow people to overlook appliances and cabinet doors.

I'd love to just be done with this house.  I know I'll be sad when it is gone, but it's a necessary evil.  I'd like to think it will help me get rid of some of the demons following me since childhood, but you can never really get rid of such things, can you?

I took three weeks off from seeing my mom in order to finish the house.  I went in to the ALF last Tuesday just to visit.  I knew she'd be long overdue for her nails to be clipped and she had been begging me for some time to shave her legs.  When I arrived she was actually socializing with the other women there (well watching TV with them, but that's a huge step).  I don't think she left her room outside of meals and medical stuff so I was really excited to see her out of her room for once.  She seemed in good spirits and was even in the middle of reading Pride and Prejudice.  That is one book she asked me numerous times over the years to buy her.  By the time she left her house she had 5 copies.  I gave them away since she was refusing to read, but then she begged for another copy.  My older sister bought her one for her birthday and it sat under her dresser until recently.   It was really nice seeing her reading again.  It was like someone rolled the clock back 10 years.

But as with everything it doesn't last long.  I saw her again on Thursday to take her to the eye doctor.  She was skittish, had trouble remembering much of anything and couldn't follow the simple commands of the eye doctor when she was checking her eyes.  I found out that day her psyche nurse had called her psychiatrist to up her dose of anti-depressants, but they weren't started until Friday morning.  On Friday morning she was going in for a teeth cleaning and was horribly nervous.  I did have my daughter with me both days (she was home sick from school and I couldn't cancel the appointments) so it's possible that's all it was, but it's sad.  I really wish those good days were more often and the bad days would disappear.

She called today frantic, but not really frantic about anything in particular.  She said I said "we'll see what happens," and after thinking about it over the weekend she's horribly nervous about what I was talking about.  It was probably about the house.  I can't even remember.  Maybe if I just don't see her for long periods of time she'll be calmer.  Maybe...