Since things are calming down I figured it was time for a post on the lighter side of things. I use comedy a bit to cope with things. Not that this is a funny situation, but if you don't laugh schizophrenia wins. So here is a list of things I've heard this week that you really should never hear. And some things that should never be said in a psyche ward.
"The doctors will slice and dice you and you have to trust they'll do it right." Overheard sermon from a Pastor who clearly needs a lesson in tact.
"You can't keep your chicken in there! I'll keep it safe right here with me!"
"I'm not responsible for someone from my agency telling you wrong information."
"Are those cops here for me." This one should just never be answered.
"You want the kind of mother who will brush her hair and brush her teeth and I'm just never gonna be that kind of mother. You have to learn to live with that!"
"What kind of meat do you think that is? It looks like turkey, but smells like pork. Why don't you try it?"
"My nipple fell off once. I stuck it back on." I blame my job for walking into that one.
"Remember, if you're going to have sex in a park take your name badge off first."
"Is that Kyle?" "No, it's my mother." "Are you sure?" "Quite."
"I wake up every morning and want to kill myself. That doesn't mean there's a problem, it just means I'm a little bit sad."
"I'll execute this one while you execute that one." This was a police officer referring to filling out two sets of paperwork.
There you have it. Anything you've heard recently that just should never be said?
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