Time For a National Discussion on Mental Health

I've been watching the news a bit over the past week.  I'm trying not to immerse myself into it. I can't imagine that would be a good thing.  It seems the discourse has quickly moved to gun control. While I am no fan of guns and do feel it's an important discussion to have I do hope that the discussion on the current state of mental health care can continue.

I've heard everything from the man who shot 26 people and his mother last Friday in Connecticut was Autistic to completely normal, but shy to his mother was trying to get him involuntarily committed to a mental hospital.  It will be a while before we know all the events that led to the tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary School.  And we can second guess and point fingers, but unless we take real action we are unlikely to get anywhere.

For those who may not remember or have read all my posts my mother suffers from schizoaffective disorder bipolar type.  She has been mentally ill for as long as I can remember, but only started receiving regular treatment for it in the past 11 years.  It's been a real challenge to get her help.  As a family we have felt that our hands are tied because she has the right to live anyway she wishes until something happens. In 2010 that something finally happened when she attempted to abduct 4 children from a bus stop on two different occasions.   The neighbor called me asking me to do something about it.  I had to make the heartbreaking decision to have him call the police.  And for the rest of my life I will wonder what emotional harm those kids may have from the incident.  What I hate more is that I could do nothing to prevent it, but I knew that something was going to happen eventually.  When my mother started becoming preoccupied again with the children and wanting to try and "save" them again we had a hard time convincing CCSB Emergency Services to intervene.  Despite her history they wanted to wait until she actually hurt someone.  It took hours, a trip to the Magistrate and later a trip to the ER when the hold period waiting for TDO placement ran out before we could have her placed in a facility.  During that hospitalization she was declared incapacitated which opened the door for us to file for Guardianship.  A month later I was standing in front of a judge asking him to take away her right to vote, drive a car, have access to her money or make personal and medical decisions for herself.

I've been glorified and vilified for working to help my mom.  I've been told how great it is I'm helping her at the same time I'm being told that there's nothing anyone can do to help her.  I've faced stigma just for sharing a blood line with her.  I've been told by my elected officials to keep up the good work, but they aren't going to help. I've been told I'm a horrible person for trying to help her and not focusing more on everyone else.  I've been asked why we weren't doing more.

The truth is in this country mental health care is elusive.  There aren't enough providers, aren't enough psyche hospital beds and there isn't enough money to keep everything going.  Plus because of privacy concerns the sector tends to function without oversight so quality suffers.

An NBC Nightly News report tonight highlights one of the biggest barriers my mom faced in getting care.  We fall firmly in the middle class who is a forgotten sector of the mental health field.  The very poor can receive help and the very rich can afford their own help.  Those in the middle get virtually nothing.  My mother had a house with no mortgage and alimony, but it was only enough to pay for the basics and 6 hours a week of time with an aide.  But she was considered well off.  She couldn't live with family since we have children to worry about, but couldn't live on her own.  We found the cheapest ALF we could find that would accept her and struggled to pay bills on time.

If you try and spend some time bringing mental health issues to the attention of the public you are scorned for "violating privacy" for the person you are trying to help.  "Violating privacy" is more code word for "I want to pretend this isn't happening so don't tell me about it so I can keep my blinders on."  This mother has been vilified for talking about her son's mental health issues.  But this discussion has to happen for things to improve.  In Virginia we have a Senator and Senator-elect who worked very hard to cut funds from mental health care.  The Senator-elect even cut funds (during his term as Governor) even while crying with the families of victims of the VA Tech shooting.

The time for treating people who suffer from mental illness or substance abuse like this reporter should end.  We are all worth receiving the help we need and having our voices heard.

We need help and those of us who are doing all we can to help loved ones who are dealing with mental illness can't do it alone.  I can't scream loud enough to make things better.  I need you all to amplify my voice and the voices of others who are dealing with mental illness directly or indirectly to make a difference. We need you all to care.

Episode 4, healthcare debate

Today I went to visit my mom.  She's starting to regress a little.  For a short time she was taking her medication exactly as prescribed.  I got her a massive pill dispenser that broke down her meds into specific times of the day.  Even though it is just morning and evening she seemed to need something that said "morning" and "evening" for her to remember which ones to take.  She missed two doses since yesterday, though and her mental state was already in decline.  Christina has been working hard to find mom a nurse that can take care of some basic needs during the day.  Unfortunately mom can't afford too much so we are limited in what we can get for her.  I'm thinking an assisted living will be where she will end up, but cost and her willingness to go are big factors.

So today Christina and I talked a little bit about the healthcare changes going on in this country.  She is concerned that because she doesn't have insurance she will end up paying a fine.  That won't help her get coverage and will just make it harder on her family.  I've always been deadset against Universal Healthcare.  I've dealt with military hospitals and the level of care you get there.  I've heard Universal Healthcare is worse than that so it has me scared.  But the more I'm dealing with these roadblocks in getting adequate care for my mom the more I'm liking the idea.  Well, "like" is a strong word.  Maybe "tolerating" the idea is a better way of saying it. 

I've found it hard to believe that they (society, the government, health professions, etc) let my mom and people like her out in the community when they aren't able to make decisions for themselves.  It is obvious we aren't doing enough.  America seems built on the concept that everyone should "pull themselves up by their bootstraps," but the most vulnerable members of our community get left behind that way.  My mom's case manager told me that she sees so many heartbreaking cases.  There are many patients she sees who are homeless and she can do nothing about it, because it is their right to be homeless. 

Rights are incredibly important, don't get me wrong.  But at some point when a person is too mentally gone to make important decisions about medical care and living conditions don't we have the responsibility to help them, even if they don't believe they need our help?

Hopefully soon we will be able to start the guardianship process.  I admit I am too chicken to start it on my own.  I'm looking into organizations who will walk me through the process.  It's either that or work at McDonald's or strip to come up with the cash for a lawyer.  Of course after two kids and too many cheeseburgers I doubt I'd make a dime stripping.

I started calling my legislators.  My delegate Bob Tata has been the most helpful.  His assistant Vicki has run into the same road blocks I have, but is looking into all the legal options we have as for as guardianship or POA.  She even suggested that maybe Del Tata can look into writing a bill to change the laws if they need to be changed.  I won't hold my breath, but at least it seems like someone in power cares a little. Meanwhile I'm looking for help to walk me through the process.  I need to get started.  Every day that passes is one more day I can't help mom.