So How Is Your Mom?

So How Is Your Mom?  It's a question I hear so often sometimes I want to scream, and other times I desperately wish someone would ask me that very thing.  My mom's illness has consumed my life and I'm caught between wanting to do everything I can to "fix" things and wishing I didn't have this burden to bear. 

So, really, how is she?  I have been so caught up enrolling her in Medicare and talking with her doctors about how this drug is garbage and this one seems to work well I forget to look at how she is doing.  I guess the best way to describe it is "better."  Since the dose of Haldol was lowered she is stronger physically.  When she was originally put on Haldol she was an active young looking 63 year old.  Quickly, she turned into a "on death's door looking like a 100 year old" woman.  Haldol was to blame.  It's only benefits are that it's cheap and can be injected into a unwilling patient who doesn't see her illness.  The side-effects are absolutely horrid.  But if you don't have insurance you take what you can afford or what's given for free. 

She's on a much smaller dose of Haldol now and the doctor added a new antipsychotic with it to make up for the lower dose.  She's still delusional, but at this point she's healthier than we hoped for just a short time ago.  She's stronger and a bit more lucid and she hasn't cussed me out in at least two weeks.  She's been diagnosed with Dementia which is common with schizophrenics.  The doctor started Aricept last week and we are hoping it will make a difference. 

We had Hurricane Irene swing through the area over the weekend.  It wasn't so bad, but it reminded me of the last time we had a Hurricane coming our way.  I had my mom stay over and my husband and I slept in shifts to keep an eye on her.  Right after the storm she ended up hospitalized for a few days with a massive bladder infection which made her mental state decline rapidly. It was evident the minute she stepped foot in my house that she needed medical help that time. 

But for this Hurricane this past weekend she was at her assisted living facility with a backup generator and medical staff making sure she was safe. The medical director even told me mom shared her Coca-Cola stash with a fellow resident who was sad the Coke machine was empty.  As for me I spent most of the storm sleeping.  I guess the weight of my recent burdens were lifted for a moment and my body decided it needed some healing time.   

Today I visited mom to make sure she was safe.  The facility was on backup generator as the power was still out, but my mom was in good spirits.  Up until the last three visits she has refused to get out of bed when I'm there.  I had her doctor change one of her medications and I think it's helping.  She was angry I stole her shoes.  She had two pairs of Crocs and she slipped on the stairs a few times.  I bought her some laceless Keds which she hates, but are much safer for her to wear.  She entertained me with stories about how she was planning on marrying a guy named Larry who lives upstairs, and how she changed her mind and he found someone else.  I told her I didn't realize she was dating, to which she replied, "we weren't. I was just going to marry him."  She was thankful she didn't marry him because he was into lots of sex.  She also mentioned the newest activity there is "panty raids" led by Larry.  Strange since it's an all female facility.  I gave her a much needed manicure and pedicure (complete with a baby wipe foot bath).  The second one left me desperate for a shower.  Must remember to show her doctor her feet next visit.  Then mom crawled back in bed for a nap before dinner.  Before leaving I asked the medical director who "Larry" was.  Turns out he's the son of one of the residents and he'd just stopped by for a visit last week.  I asked them to keep and eye on her and to please make sure she washed her feet next time she showered. 

This week my plan is to pay attention to my kids before school starts next week and I don't see them as much.  Then start working again on all the fiduciary work I have waiting.  More on that fun next time.