It has been an exceedingly rough week for me. I have the pressures of everything with my mom, but this week was a reminder that my kids need me too.
My daughter has been struggling with her teacher this year and it became obvious very quickly there was no way she could stay in this teacher's classroom. I felt I was unable to communicate with this teacher in any way. It left me feeling like I should return my diploma for my communications degree. My daughter was so stressed her behavior became erratic and she refused to do just about anything asked of her. Finally she was moved into another classroom today and so far seems to be happy and relaxed again.
My son thankfully, is doing great in the 4th grade and he has a teacher who really seems to get him (she loves that he loves to give you the play by play of his favorite show). After such a rough year last year for him this much needed for all of us, especially him.
I was thankful I had the time this week to help my children. I feel like with my mother's illness they often get only small strips of me, when they really deserve whole chunks.
So today, after making sure my daughter was comfortable in her classroom I had to turn my attention back to my mother. She had a dentist appointment today to restore her tooth and prep it for the temporary crown. You may remember she had a root canal last week. She did great for both appointments, but this morning she was acting strange. She was telling me about how there were motors in the beds that flip you out in the middle of the night and that a guy who lives upstairs (still an all female facility) died because he became trapped in the bed. And she went on and on about how her psychiatrist was having the med techs overdose her so she would die and that the housekeeper was saying her room was filthy and if my mother didn't clean it up she would be evicted and then the housekeeper could have her room. Her room was pretty much immaculate when I was there. Okay I think maybe the comb had a strand of hair stuck in it. And she had an incident a week ago where she fell out of bed and they weren't really sure what happened. I found the med tech today who helped mom and she said she fell in between the wall and the bed and got stuck, but the bed is now pushed against the wall and that should solve the problem.
So in true tag team style I texted my sister while I was in the waiting room during mom's time at the dentist to please call the doctor and I described the delusions to her. Her next appointment wasn't for two weeks so it couldn't wait that long. She called and doctor decided to increase the dose and sent a fax to the assisted living. Of course he didn't sign it or make it clear so the facility refused to honor it and we ended in a circle of faxes and voice mails again. Things didn't happen so her dose won't be increased until Monday at the earliest. Are you as annoyed as I am right now?
So I decided to clean up my mom's nails while I was there and had time and she couldn't stop talking about how she was going to die if her meds were increased and that the bed was going to crush her. I assured her the bed would not hurt her, but she got angrier and angrier. She said I was going to be very sorry when she died and then she said "I hope they come and butcher you." Now my mind went to assuming "butcher" was a metaphor for taking me to court for elder abuse, throwing me in jail or something so I simply said, "well, yes if I screw up the court will hold me accountable and I could end up in jail." Clearly I misinterpreted her because she then said, "no you won't. You'll be dead and in little pieces." She has said some pretty awful things to me, but I think this one won the Oscar.
So I got out of there, went to the school to finish my volunteer work, got stuck in a rain storm on the way home, came home to a cat vomiting all over the place and put on a brave face for my daughter who needed nothing but joy today. We got errands done and I bought her the toy she's been eyeing for having such a good day at school. My son got a CD he's been wanting. We got some new books and traded in some old toys for some new clothes. Now the littles are sleeping peacefully.
I've said before that I view crying as a luxury you can only afford when you have time. I think tonight I'll have to make time.
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