A few months ago I was talking with some friends about moms. One friend was telling us the story about her mother's final months. It was sad and horrible for her to watch and I know losing her mother was devastating. Reminds me I'm not the only one with struggles. This brought the conversation over to the challenges I've had taking care of my mom. My sister and I had just spent a month looking for an assisted living for her live in and get her as healthy as we could after a long hospital stay so I guess I had assisted livings on the brain. So the conversation went over to my worst fear...
My worst fear in life (at the moment) is not getting Dementia or my kids not living up to their full potential, or my mother getting sicker. That would be normal. I guess I just see those as the ups and downs of life that are expected and nothing to fear because you can do little to change what will happen. You handle things as they come.
My biggest fear at the moment is living out my days in an assisted living facility with a UNIBROW.
Now when I mentioned this the entire population of the NSDAR's Historian General's office burst out laughing.
Now, I still am not sure why this was funny because really I was being truthful. But I guess not everyone is on the same thought pattern as me. My sister and I combined visited dozens of assisted living facilities (ALF) and one of the main questions we brought up was about grooming. All the places had some sort of "beauty shop" where hair was washed, cut and styled. After telling us about these wonderful services I would always ask "do you provide waxing or hair grooming for other parts of the body like the face or legs?" Every person I asked looked like I might need to be locked up somewhere and medicated heavily.
When we are young we think nothing of what grooming habits we will be able to keep up when we are old. That's normal. I'm not a vain person (I don't think). I rarely wear makeup. My hair is wash, dry, brush (pony tail?) and go for better or worse. I have started a love affair with yoga pants and t-shirts that are at least mostly stain and hole free. But I try to never miss a waxing appointment. Big caterpillars over your eyes that join in the center just aren't attractive on anybody.
These days I spend time clipping my mother's nails and shaping them so they won't snag her clothes or scratch her skin. I've on more than one occasion convinced her to bathe with the promise of shaving her legs afterwards. I bought an electric razor now for that purpose to cut down on the chance of nicks. It was difficult as a kid to learn how to shave my own legs without cutting myself. Imagine shaving the legs of someone who wiggles. Some days I help her dress and put on her deodorant for her or comb her hair. She has cradle cap from lack of hair washing. She was never great at washing her own hair, but now that she's in an ALF we have to remind them to wash her hair and she often protests. It's hard to see her like this.
So what's your biggest fear? Where are you in your life that makes that a fear? Do you fear McDonald's because of the return of skinny jeans? Do you fear health problems? Do you fear the mail carrier because of the bills or bad news he/she brings?
Love it or hate it but fear drives our decisions in life. Right now I'm fine with my eyebrows driving mine.
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